Back again
One thing that I've found time and time again is how hard it is to keep at it, when life gets in the way. You think that everything is going smoothly and there you go again, trying to multitask, do everything while you can. Then, it starts creeping in, the tiredness, the aching in your body acts as a reminder for you to slow down. But when your body starts showing you these tell-tale signs, people like me retaliate. Refusing to hold back, and even getting frustrated when I'm held back, because my body won't let me. Consequently, this leads to fractured bones, vertigo, tiredness and frequent sleeping spells. Sounds fun doesn't it?
Well.... that pretty much sums up the past year and a bit. It definitely is not easy when you're someone who wants to keep doing things because not doing anything makes you feel so inadequate and feel like you're wasting time. However, one thing that I have learnt over the year is that as much as you like doing things, you HAVE to listen to your body. Your body knows what you're capable or incapable of doing. Over the past year, I've been hurt, I've felt controlled, I've been confused, I've been tired (obviously), I've experienced a whirlwind of emotions and I'm sure it has been the same for many of us. But, everything has died down now and I'm just so happy at where I am and I'm just going to progressively make changes that I would like to see in the near future.
So, moving onto a new chapter in my life. It's always the hardest to close one part of your life and open another one. The road seems long and tiring and it feels like you're inevitably getting closer to the doom that awaits you. But, I suppose, it's to take everything one step at a time and not worry about things too much which is what I tend to do most of the time (worry, that is). I suppose there are so many elements in life that you cannot control and how your day to day life goes is definitely one thing that you have no hold on whatsoever. As much as you would like things to go a certain way, it is never warranted that it will and it is up to you how you choose to feel about the situation. Be upset about it because it didn't go your way or accept that it has happened and move on.
I sometimes sit and contemplate life and I suppose my blog is very much a way in which I do that. I haven't been writing in awhile because I didn't know how to put my thoughts into words and also because I had a couple of things (and people) that were constantly pressuring me. I suppose, I could say that I experience domestic abuser. Coercive control IS considered domestic abuse and I know a lot of us, especially woman, fear our perpetrator and it's so true how they are so close to home. Mine was my housemate. He made me doubt my feelings and tried to make me turn my back on the people I love and he manipulated me and that was by far the worst thing that could have happened to me but I was silent about it because I didn't know where to turn to. I also didn't want to report him because I didn't want to jeopardise his future. But what about mine? I'm fortunate enough that I was able to leave and I never have to think about it anymore. I'm glad that the harassment has finally ended. I suppose at one point I believed what he said to me, but it's still too raw for me to speak about it.
Anyway, I just wanted to finally come out and say that I have moved from Lancaster and now live in Manchester. If anyone would like to come visit, please do drop me a line. I am going to see where this journey takes me and I'm really excited to see where this path leads to. I'm finally in a comfortable place and I'm going to start my job search and the area that I am interested in is in management consulting or a business analyst role. If anyone knows of any opportunity in any region, preferably Europe, please do not hesitate to contact me via comment or email.
It's not a very long post this time. Just a short one to update everyone about what has been happening. I will be posting more regularly and with longer posts soon.
Till my next post. xx
Well.... that pretty much sums up the past year and a bit. It definitely is not easy when you're someone who wants to keep doing things because not doing anything makes you feel so inadequate and feel like you're wasting time. However, one thing that I have learnt over the year is that as much as you like doing things, you HAVE to listen to your body. Your body knows what you're capable or incapable of doing. Over the past year, I've been hurt, I've felt controlled, I've been confused, I've been tired (obviously), I've experienced a whirlwind of emotions and I'm sure it has been the same for many of us. But, everything has died down now and I'm just so happy at where I am and I'm just going to progressively make changes that I would like to see in the near future.
So, moving onto a new chapter in my life. It's always the hardest to close one part of your life and open another one. The road seems long and tiring and it feels like you're inevitably getting closer to the doom that awaits you. But, I suppose, it's to take everything one step at a time and not worry about things too much which is what I tend to do most of the time (worry, that is). I suppose there are so many elements in life that you cannot control and how your day to day life goes is definitely one thing that you have no hold on whatsoever. As much as you would like things to go a certain way, it is never warranted that it will and it is up to you how you choose to feel about the situation. Be upset about it because it didn't go your way or accept that it has happened and move on.
I sometimes sit and contemplate life and I suppose my blog is very much a way in which I do that. I haven't been writing in awhile because I didn't know how to put my thoughts into words and also because I had a couple of things (and people) that were constantly pressuring me. I suppose, I could say that I experience domestic abuser. Coercive control IS considered domestic abuse and I know a lot of us, especially woman, fear our perpetrator and it's so true how they are so close to home. Mine was my housemate. He made me doubt my feelings and tried to make me turn my back on the people I love and he manipulated me and that was by far the worst thing that could have happened to me but I was silent about it because I didn't know where to turn to. I also didn't want to report him because I didn't want to jeopardise his future. But what about mine? I'm fortunate enough that I was able to leave and I never have to think about it anymore. I'm glad that the harassment has finally ended. I suppose at one point I believed what he said to me, but it's still too raw for me to speak about it.
Anyway, I just wanted to finally come out and say that I have moved from Lancaster and now live in Manchester. If anyone would like to come visit, please do drop me a line. I am going to see where this journey takes me and I'm really excited to see where this path leads to. I'm finally in a comfortable place and I'm going to start my job search and the area that I am interested in is in management consulting or a business analyst role. If anyone knows of any opportunity in any region, preferably Europe, please do not hesitate to contact me via comment or email.
It's not a very long post this time. Just a short one to update everyone about what has been happening. I will be posting more regularly and with longer posts soon.
Till my next post. xx
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