It's too hard...
I haven't been on here for awhile. And I know there have been quite a number of people who have messaged me asking why I have stopped blogging. Truth is, blogging used to be so simple in the past where I could just speak my mind out. I always believe that every thought that you share are open to criticism so sometimes, especially when I'm feeling pensive or am particularly upset by some things in particular, I don't necessarily like sharing it anymore. I guess over the years, I have been more upset by things that other people say, but I have no control over what someone says to me and neither do they have control over what they say having an effect on me.
One thing that I have realised is that there are billions of people in this world and everyone perceives everything differently. I'm also clinically depressed, so, my view on the world is also skewed. I remember one day at work, when I was serving a customer and one of the customer requested for the "blackest" meat that we had and a colleague of mine who was of Caribbean descent asked me if the man in question intentionally paid emphasis on the word "blackest" because the two people, him and I, were of darker skin tone, and to me, it did not for a second made me think that he was intentionally being racist or showed any prejudice. But I recognise that due to someone's upbringing, they may perceive something completely differently from how you and I would. So, I started to think how in general, I would never be offended by words because at the end of the day, they're just words. However, I am personally offended when people dismiss me based on their assumption of who I am and where I come from. I have had people in the past point at me and say, "India", somewhat posing a question to enquire where I was from and I have politely answered that I am not and I am from Malaysia, which often times, their demeanour changes to somewhat a softer and less provoking sort. But, why does it matter where anyone is from?
I think it's unfair that if you came from a developing country, you are treated with less respect, but when did anyone decide who they were going to be born to, how they were to be raised, where they were raised and what privilege accompanied their upbringing? So, how are we to judge this at all. And at the same time, we have a full-on holocaust happening in Palestine, where people are being shot for being Palestinians, they've had their country stripped of their recognition as a country, they've had to carry passes to go into their own capital of Jerusalem and now the United States is trying to recognise Jerusalem as the capital of Israel, when all along, Tel Aviv has been the capital of Israel. It angers me when people do not have the free will. I believe in the preservation of anyone's country, culture, free-will and independence and are very much offended by people who feel that it is acceptable for them to impose such a thing on other people, but are angered if someone were to impose something on them (even if it is as little as putting your bag 1mm on their seat). Do you recognise the double standards? Yes, you may ask them to move their bag away and many people would willingly remove their bag and apologise for their mistake. But, some people don't have that kind of freedom.
I have always been an activist, I've always voiced my opinions, I've always been very vocal about my views on particular topics and I also am aware that what I share today, will have a huge impact in the future, even going to the extremes of it concerning my safety one day. We all know that everything that we share online, whatever that we say to other people, are not necessarily just things that are private. We have seen cases where things that are shared a very long time ago by some celebrities, or well-known figures, resurface and how much it has offended people as well. I'm pretty sure that is the same for me. I cannot say that I have never been or shown prejudice in my whole life. I think sometimes we are taught to do it as a child, I know my mother did teach us to be prejudice but it's also possible to learn that it is wrong and I don't blame my mother and my siblings and I have taught her over the years that sometimes she can be a little racist and that comes from how she was raised as well. And it's a shame that people don't recognise this but thankfully my mother learns very well and she listens when we tell her that you can't say certain things because other people may be offended by things, but how many people are open to learning?
Maybe I'm overreacting but I just get really annoyed by a lot of things and manners is another thing that gets me quite perplexed that some people have none. But then again, I always say it boils down to me accepting that not everyone was raised the same, heck even my siblings are not the same, they're mostly blunt but I'm the really sensitive one at home and how that happened, no one will know. But I've always tried to put myself in positions I wouldn't normally put myself in as I know that would allow me to see other people's perspective. But, it's a shame that we all don't. But I suppose we do what we can. I don't really know how and what to say anymore and I will think of better things to post on my blog rather than voicing my frustrations and discontent, but I suppose what I have is a platform in which as little as I can may influence others to view things from a different perspective and I stay true to my objective that I will continue writing as long as there is even one person that is happy to read what I have to say.
Till my next post. xx
One thing that I have realised is that there are billions of people in this world and everyone perceives everything differently. I'm also clinically depressed, so, my view on the world is also skewed. I remember one day at work, when I was serving a customer and one of the customer requested for the "blackest" meat that we had and a colleague of mine who was of Caribbean descent asked me if the man in question intentionally paid emphasis on the word "blackest" because the two people, him and I, were of darker skin tone, and to me, it did not for a second made me think that he was intentionally being racist or showed any prejudice. But I recognise that due to someone's upbringing, they may perceive something completely differently from how you and I would. So, I started to think how in general, I would never be offended by words because at the end of the day, they're just words. However, I am personally offended when people dismiss me based on their assumption of who I am and where I come from. I have had people in the past point at me and say, "India", somewhat posing a question to enquire where I was from and I have politely answered that I am not and I am from Malaysia, which often times, their demeanour changes to somewhat a softer and less provoking sort. But, why does it matter where anyone is from?
I think it's unfair that if you came from a developing country, you are treated with less respect, but when did anyone decide who they were going to be born to, how they were to be raised, where they were raised and what privilege accompanied their upbringing? So, how are we to judge this at all. And at the same time, we have a full-on holocaust happening in Palestine, where people are being shot for being Palestinians, they've had their country stripped of their recognition as a country, they've had to carry passes to go into their own capital of Jerusalem and now the United States is trying to recognise Jerusalem as the capital of Israel, when all along, Tel Aviv has been the capital of Israel. It angers me when people do not have the free will. I believe in the preservation of anyone's country, culture, free-will and independence and are very much offended by people who feel that it is acceptable for them to impose such a thing on other people, but are angered if someone were to impose something on them (even if it is as little as putting your bag 1mm on their seat). Do you recognise the double standards? Yes, you may ask them to move their bag away and many people would willingly remove their bag and apologise for their mistake. But, some people don't have that kind of freedom.
I have always been an activist, I've always voiced my opinions, I've always been very vocal about my views on particular topics and I also am aware that what I share today, will have a huge impact in the future, even going to the extremes of it concerning my safety one day. We all know that everything that we share online, whatever that we say to other people, are not necessarily just things that are private. We have seen cases where things that are shared a very long time ago by some celebrities, or well-known figures, resurface and how much it has offended people as well. I'm pretty sure that is the same for me. I cannot say that I have never been or shown prejudice in my whole life. I think sometimes we are taught to do it as a child, I know my mother did teach us to be prejudice but it's also possible to learn that it is wrong and I don't blame my mother and my siblings and I have taught her over the years that sometimes she can be a little racist and that comes from how she was raised as well. And it's a shame that people don't recognise this but thankfully my mother learns very well and she listens when we tell her that you can't say certain things because other people may be offended by things, but how many people are open to learning?
Maybe I'm overreacting but I just get really annoyed by a lot of things and manners is another thing that gets me quite perplexed that some people have none. But then again, I always say it boils down to me accepting that not everyone was raised the same, heck even my siblings are not the same, they're mostly blunt but I'm the really sensitive one at home and how that happened, no one will know. But I've always tried to put myself in positions I wouldn't normally put myself in as I know that would allow me to see other people's perspective. But, it's a shame that we all don't. But I suppose we do what we can. I don't really know how and what to say anymore and I will think of better things to post on my blog rather than voicing my frustrations and discontent, but I suppose what I have is a platform in which as little as I can may influence others to view things from a different perspective and I stay true to my objective that I will continue writing as long as there is even one person that is happy to read what I have to say.
Till my next post. xx
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